The Smartfella? is here to tell you that it could be a lot worse. If it were not for the hundreds of thousands of pitchmen on television and radio who, every ten minutes, are doing their best to get us to buy gold coins, gold bullion, goldie locks and/or gold teeth, we would be really see some bad unemployment numbers. J

OK, I exaggerated when I said “hundreds of thousands of pitchmen” … Or did I?

Would I kid u?

Our Congress is getting beat about the head and shoulders about a lot of things. The Smartfella? is stepping up to come to their defense about an issue in which they have heretofore been made to look truly derelict…

Ø      Their critics have been shouting that they Do Not Read The Bills They Sign Into Law.

Ø      Should they read the bills? … Of course they should.

Ø      Is it a big waste of time to read the bills? … Of course it is.

Has the Smartfella? lost it? Absolutely not! Conclusive proof of my position is quoted below. As you read down you will see parts of pages 17 and 18 of H. R. 3200 (1,017 pages). A bill that has the subtitle… “To provide affordable, quality health care for all Americans and reduce the growth in health care spending, and for other purposes.”

(The Smartfella? is made especially nervous by that last line, “and for other purposes”. That sounds pretty open ended to him.)

My contention is that this excerpt from the bill is not comprehendible by any of them or us. If my representatives in Congress would say to me, “Why should we read this bill there is no way to understand it”. I would instantly see the logic of this argument and I would tell them to go to Happy Hour.

Here is the exact wording from the bill. The other 1,015 pages are more of the same. Can you figure it out?

(page 17)

20 (B) EXCEPTION FOR LIMITED BENEFITS

21 PLANS.—Subparagraph (A) shall not apply to

22 an employment-based health plan in which the

23 coverage consists only of one or more of the fol-

24 lowing:

(page 18)

1 (i) Any coverage described in section

2 3001(a)(1)(B)(ii)(IV) of division B of the

3 American Recovery and Reinvestment Act

4 of 2009 (Public Law 111–5).

5 (ii) Excepted benefits (as defined in

6 section 733(c) of the Employee Retirement

7 Income Security Act of 1974), including

8 coverage under a specified disease or ill-

9 ness policy described in paragraph (3)(A)

10 of such section.

11 (iii) Such other limited benefits as the

12 Commissioner may specify.

Those last lines above again make the Smartfella? especially nervous ... “(iii) Such other limited benefits as the Commissioner may specify.”

Pretty open ended is it not?

Or as Yul Brenner said in The King and I, "Etcetera, Etcetera, Etcetera"

Or as Mel Brooks said in The History of the World Part One, "It's good to be the king".

Would I kid u?

Don’t get my drift? Allow me to explain…

Ø      All of us had the same color of skin.

Ø      All of us had the same color of hair.

Ø      All of us had the same color of eyes.

Ø      All of us were exactly the same height.

Ø      All of us weighed exactly the same amount.

Ø      All of us received the exact same salary.

Ø      All of us had completely honest politicians representing us in Congress.

Ø      All of us had the same intelligence.

Got my drift?

This would, of course, mean that discrimination did not exist … or would it?

Allow me to paint a picture in your mind’s eye (whatever that is)…

Two of us same color of skin, same color of hair, same color of eyes, same height, same weight, same salaried, represented by completely honest congressional politicians and possessing the exact same intelligence persons are sitting at a table in a coffee shop having a cappuccino when one says to the other in hushed tones while cupping his hand over his mouth, “You see that guy sitting at that table over by the door? He has a space between his front teeth. Watch out for people with spaces between their front teeth. There is no way to predict how the spaced-teeth mind works. You can’t trust them.”

OK, I know I’m being foolish. This would never happen … or would it?

Would I kid u?

Ø     In 1989 a “deadbeat dad” was ordered to reimburse the state for public assistance for a son he had been told was his.

Ø     In 2000 DNA tests proved he was not the father.

Ø     In June of 2008 a judge sentenced said “deadbeat dad” to jail because he was ruled to be in arrears for $10,263 in child-support obligations, even though the judge was well aware that he was not the father of the child.

Ø     He stayed in jail till July 2009 (that’s thirteen months) when the judge who originally sentenced him to jail ruled he was, “no longer responsible for paying an amount of child support”.

Ø     The state’s Department of Human Services has said it will propose legislation next year to make sure what happened in this case will not happen again.

This is really interesting to the Smartfella? … We need legislation to prevent fathers who have been proven not to be fathers from having to pay for the support of children that they did not father.

Since our judicial system appears to be determined to pass a law for every possible possibility, are now going to see laws passed like the following? …

Ø     Persons who have not robbed banks will no longer be required to reimburse banks that they did not rob.

Ø     Persons who have not watered their lawns in excess of country watering restrictions will no longer have to pay fines for watering their lawns in excess of country watering restrictions.

Ø     Persons who have not come in repeatedly late for work can no longer be fired for coming in repeatedly late for work.

In a recent interview one of our Federal Judges was quoted as saying, “I had always wanted to be a king, but I decided I really wanted to have unlimited power, so I decided to become a Federal Judge in the United States Judicial System.”

OK, I admit I made up the above quote about the judge/king … Or did I?

Would I kid u?

A recent example of the current Governmental Give-Me-Mine Phenomena was the money given out for more police to fight crime. The arguments went something like this…

Ø      We used to have a lot of crime.

Ø      We did an excellent job of fighting crime before The Stimulus started Stimulating.

Ø      Now our crime rate is markedly reduced.

Ø      We are very proud of what we have accomplished.

Ø      Now Big Government is distributing money to hire police to fight Big Crime where there is Big Crime.

Ø      They are giving Stimulus Money to places where crime is now rampant but we are not rampant any longer.

Ø      If we still had a lot of crime we would have a lot of crime and we would have been given Stimulus Money to fight the crime that we no longer have.

Ø      This is not fair!

We in this Stimulus Era (Renaissance Period, Industrial Revolution, Stone Age, Age of Enlightenment and now Stimulus Era) are all demanding our fair share, whether we need a fair share or not. It is sortalike (here comes the Foolishness)…

Ø      Big Government decrees that all persons residing in the Good Ole USofA are to be given a $1,000 Bill.

Ø      The $1,000 Bills are duly stuffed one night into individual envelopes by Jimmy Carter in his basement.

Ø      Barack Obama himself distributes the envelopes at 52,712 gigantic Distribution Parties simultaneously held throughout the country.

Ø      Within minutes of the envelopes being opened we hear the following chorus of unhappiness and consternation rising from assembled used-to-be-excited and very happy multitude…

o       How come my bill is not new and crisp like his bill is?

o       Why was my bill not facing forward in my envelope like his was?

o       Why does my bill have a corner bent down?

It's gonna be an awful sight to behold.

Would I kid u?

The Smartfella? spent more that thirty years in the Automotive Industry. At one point I was up there at the height of my mediocre career. The thoughts and observations expressed in this Foolishness…Or It It?, therefore are accurate…maybe.

A news article on July 24, 2009 says Ford made $2.3 billion dollars in the second quarter of 2009. That is a lot of money in a Dire Economic Situation! That means Ford is smart…Or are they?

The same article that says Ford was/is smart also says that the being smart part may be their undoing. The following is a quote from the article…

”The company also is shifting its model lineup toward smaller cars, which could end up being a liability. If gas prices do not begin to climb, they’re also going to face the challenge of having a lot of small cars to sell and there may not be demand for them.”

Let me see if I can get my mediocre automotive mind around this…

Ø      The buying public had wanted big cars so Ford built big cars to satisfy that demand.

Ø      Darn near overnight the price of gas went sky high and the buying public started demanding small cars.

Ø      Ford is now doing the smart thing by shifting to the manufacture of small cars, which the buyers were demanding yesterday, but it may be the dumb thing to do because the buying public may not want what they were demanding yesterday today.

As I think this thing through, it is now clear. In order to be smart, Ford has to gear up to build what the buying public may not want because when they realize that what they don’t want is what they want Ford will be there with the product they didn’t want.

Would I kid u?

Oops! The late Paul Harvey just came into my computer room and commanded me to tell, The Rest of the Story. It seems there were a few other reasons that Hitler wanted the Sudetenland …

From Troublesome Young Men by Lynne Olson on page 156…

In Czechoslovakia, meanwhile, the Germans marched into the Sudetenland and took control of its frontier fortifications, munitions factories, other heavy industry, and raw materials. In Prague a leading Czech industrialists outlined for Martha Gellhorn just how much the country had lost. “Forty per cent of the metallurgical industry (is) gone,” he said “sixty per cent of soft coal, sixty-three per cent of the textile industry, fifty-seven per cent of the glass industry, forty per cent of the chemical industry, sixty-three per cent of the paper industry.”

Now for the Smartfella’s foolishness … Hitler’s “protection” of Germans in the Sudetenland is akin to a person who comes in right behind the robber who just broke down your door and shoots the robber dead. Then he takes from you all your belongings that were on the dead robber’s check list.

Would I kid u?

Today our governments continue to look for new sources of Tax Revenue.

Listed below are some of our Federal Government's recent machinations for coming up with new taxes that I have observed in ongoing news reporting...

Ø      Private Health Insurance Benefits Tax

Ø      Expanded Medicare Taxes

Ø      High Earners Surtax Tax

Ø      Limit the Itemized Deductions for High Income Taxpayers

Ø      Sugary Drink Tax

Ø      Expanded Alcohol Tax

Ø      Carbon Tax

Ø      Expanded Tobacco Tax

The taxes listed below are already in place.  (Please note: I did not compile this list of taxes.  I just received it in an email.  It may not be exactly right but it ain't too far off.)

Ø      Accounts Receivable Tax

Ø      Alcohol Tax

Ø      Building Permit Tax

Ø      Capital Gains Tax

Ø      CDL License Tax (The Smartfella? does not know what a "CDL" is.)

Ø      Cigarette Tax

Ø      Corporate Income Tax

Ø      Dog License Tax

Ø      Excise Taxes

Ø      Federal Income Tax

Ø      Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)

Ø      Fishing License Tax

Ø      Food License Tax

Ø      Fuel Permit Tax

Ø      Gasoline Tax (currently 44.75 cents per gallon)

Ø      Gross Receipts Tax

Ø      Hunting License Tax

Ø      Inheritance Tax

Ø      Inventory Tax

Ø      IRS Interest Penalties (tax on top of tax)

Ø      Liquor Tax

Ø      Luxury Taxes

Ø      Marriage License Tax

Ø      Medicare Tax

Ø      Personal Property Tax

Ø      Property Tax

Ø      Real Estate Tax

Ø      Service Charge Tax

Ø      Social Security Tax

Ø      Road Usage Tax

Ø      Sales Tax

Ø      Recreational Vehicle Tax

Ø      School Tax

Ø      State Income Tax

Ø      State Unemployment Tax (SUTA)

Ø      Telephone Federal Excise Tax

Ø      Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax

Ø      Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes

Ø      Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax

Ø      Telephone Recurring and Non-recurring Charges Tax

Ø      Telephone State and Local Tax

Ø      Telephone Usage Charge Tax

Ø      Utility Taxes

Ø      Vehicle License Registration Tax

Ø      Vehicle Sales Tax

Ø      Watercraft Registration Tax

Ø      Well Permit Tax

Ø      Workers Compensation Tax

Would I kid u?

The jokes seem to never get old. Many times I know what is coming but the humor is still there, as funny as the first time I saw the shows more than fifty years ago.

“They” succeeded in getting Amos ‘n Andy kicked off the air in the early 1950s. “They” made a mistake, especially for the rest of you, because you don’t have my set of VCR Tapes.

In an episode I was watching a few days ago Andy proved he was not dumb. It went like this…

·        The Kingfish had talked Andy into going into business with him.

·        They were discussing that they needed to go to the bank and borrow money to finance their venture.

·        Andy showed his understanding of high finance when he said, “Too bad this ain’t a bankrupt company. If it was we could get the money from the gov’ment.”

Not only did he prove how smart he was he also showed that he could see all the way into 2009 from way back in 1952.

Would I kid u?

We Just Have To Be Patient

Here is what’s going to happen…

Ø      In the years to come we will see more and more of our jobs transferred to countries like India and China.

Ø      Our economy will continue to languish.

Ø      We will see unemployment begin to rise at a rate that we once would not have thought possible.

Ø      Our children and grandchildren’s lifestyles will fall below that of their parent’s, generation after generation.

We Just Have To Be Patient

Then it will turn around…

Ø      Eventually India and China will begin to see that they can get cheap labor by outsourcing their jobs to the United States.

Ø      Slowly but surely we will see our economy rebound.

Ø      The lifeblood of prosperity will fill our economic veins.

It’s going to be wonderful!

We Just Have To Be Patient

Would I kid u?

The News Sayer wanted me to worry about the Dire Economic Situation we find ourselves in.

The News Sayer was reporting on the jobless rate and what the stimulus money was going to do about it.

The News Sayer said that money was going to be put into job creation and one of the quickest ways to have a beneficial effect on the jobless rate was to create Government Sector Jobs.

I guess I understand that but the way he put it was interesting. This is a quote…

“Government jobs will have an immediate effect on the unemployment rolls because there is little job training required.”

What? They don’t train Government Sector Employees?

Is that a surprise to you?

The Smartfella? is not trying to be a WiseGuy when he says, It Is Not A Surprise To Him.

Would I kid u?

Here is how it plays out…

• We the people run out of money.
• We the people have run out of money because our government has…
  • Wasted much of our money.
  • Stolen much of our money.
  • Allowed much of our money to be spent on contracts that ended up far exceeding the original contract bid on which we the people agreed to spend much of our money.
  • Allowed much of our money to be diverted from the original purpose for which we the people originally gave our approval for our money to be spent (i.e.: Highway Trust Fund Gas Taxes, Social Security, etc).
  • Spent much of our money on trade missions to foreign countries for the purpose of seeing how foreign countries go about wasting and stealing foreign people’s money.
• The most recent example of governmental manipulation is the Atlanta City Government being “forced” to cut back on Fire and Police Protection.
• Considering all of the above ways in which we the people’s money has been wasted, stolen, spent on cost overruns, diverted and trade missions, it is strange that the only way the Atlanta City Government can come up with to see that we the people have money is to cut back on Fire and Police Protection.
• We the people are now uneasy, because we are losing our Fire and Police Protection, and we become very concerned for our own personal safety.
• This is when the Atlanta City Government came up with its brilliant idea to alleviate our unease.
• The Atlanta City Government, seeing that we the people are running out of money, decided that they must take immediate action to acquire more money for the people of Atlanta.
• Simply stated, the Atlanta City Government proposes that they raise our taxes in order to bring back our Fire and Police Protection.
• We are going to readily agree to have our taxes raised because we need our Fire and Police Protection.
• We are grateful to the Atlanta City Government for saving us from this near-disaster.
• We re-elect the Atlanta City Government representatives because, without them, we would have lost our Fire and Police Protection.

The next morning, as we brush our teeth, we will look into the mirror and we see a Big “M” on our foreheads. It will not rub off.

We go to the kitchen for breakfast and everyone else in the house, including family pets, have a Big “M” on their foreheads.

What does the Big “M” stand for? It stands for “Manipulated”. We have just been had and we don’t realize it. All we know is, we are thankful that the Atlanta City Government has saved our Fire and Police Protection.

Would I kid u?